Add These To Your Jukebox

In the year 2008, Cannibals ransacked Fort Knox; tales of their pillages were broadcasted on flatscreen, in high definition and on Sharp TVs. 

I witnessed from a safe distance, as the tumultous waters rose higher, I witnessed the turn of the screw...

...I waited seven more days and again sent out the dove from the ark. When the dove returned to me in the evening...

in its beak it held a string attached to a basket, containing no more than 10 records. I retired to my study, and played these tunes on my old Kenwood stereo receiver (KR-7600, with wood casing).

The songs that I heard, offered some respite to my visions of post-pre-apocalyptic carnage. The ten records are as follows:

10 - GZA/Genius - Pro Tools: 

The perfect soundtrack to the Way of the Samurai. Imagine black assassins with full fro's, dressed in black robes, meditating inevitable death.

9 - Fleet Foxes - Fleet Foxes:

Heard it in the summer, envisioned today: nursing a cup full of the maddie mocha and peering out of my window, onto snow-draped landscapes.

8 - Bison B.C. - Quiet Earth:

Local (Canadian) gnarlsters dream up visions of an earthbound mammoth, and its heavy!

7 - Genghis Tron - Board up the House:

They whipped us in the face with their brutal blend of metal, affectionately known as cybergrind.

6 - Boris - Smile:

Cult Japanese psych metal gods, dressed in leather pants and silky shirts, with double-neck guitars and a gong, no seriously. Best live act of this god forsaken year.

5 - Gojira - The Way of All Flesh:

French metal never tasted better, the addition of Randy Blythe (LoG) was the "fancy sauce" to my french fries. Fuck the naysayers... I'm going to join in with the earth/life mantra.

4 - Dungen - Four

Their music is the furthest thing from the symmetry of their artwork. I hope Ikea catches onto their buzz and names a chair or a shelf after them.

3 - The Mars Volta - Bedlam in Goliath

Five songs on in I felt a miscarriage coming

2 - Grails - Doomsdayer's Holiday

Pictures worth a thousand drones? yes. Imagine a tibetan monk, one minute in absolute serenity, the next being chased by a half wolf/half topless woman riding a boar. I remember purchasing this at soundscapes, walking all the way home, and listening to it, sipping on Al-Wazaah tea, with dale sprawled on the floor on his towel...totally spaced out.

1 - Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds - Dig, Lazarus, Dig!!!

Chanting incantations, guru-ing down the streets, juxtaposing a poor fella who never asked to be brought back from the dead with New York bordellos... 

Here comes Alina with two black eyes, she's given herself a transfusion

She's filled herself with panda blood to avoid all the confusion...

and its getting strange in here

Yeah its getting stranger every year!